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Here is some light reading for our readers.
TriTorch publishes articles on a Substack page titled ‘Out Here on The Perimeter’. Every now and then, he/she publishes a collection of observations, questions and jokes, humorous memes and videos he/she has come across, which he/she calls “Doom Break,” as in taking a break from the doom.
Ten days ago, TriTorch published the ninth article in the “Doom Break” series. Unfortunately, only the eighth and ninth are available on Substack, which you can read by following the hyperlinks below:
- Doom Break Volume 9: The English Language Commits a Crime
- Doom Break Volume 8 – Where Buffoonery & Humour Escalate
To give you a taste, below are some of TriTorch’s questions and observations, and a joke, from ‘Doom Break Volume 8’ and ‘Doom Break Volume 9’.
The English Language Commits a Crime
Questions Abound
- Why is it called a “building” when it is already built?
- Why do your lips not touch when you say “together”, but do touch when you say “apart”?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
- Why are they called “stands” when they’re made for sitting?
- Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
- Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- If a mime swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
- Why is the severity of the itch proportional to the inability to reach it?
- How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
- Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Observations
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well
- When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
- If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and drycleaners depressed?
- Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there.
- A cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
Where Buffoonery & Humour Escalate
A rabbi, a Hindu priest and a politician went on a hike.
Night fell and they were exhausted. The hotel on the map was nowhere to be seen. They knocked on the door of a farm and asked if they could spend the night. The farmer said, “Of course, but I only have a small room with two beds. One of you will have to sleep in the barn.”
The Hindu priest said, “I need no material comforts. I will gladly take the barn.”
The rabbi and the politician were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the Hindu priest standing there. “So sorry, my friends, but there is a cow in the barn, and I cannot sleep beside such a holy animal.”
The rabbi said, “No problem, my brother. I’ll take the barn.
The Hindu priest and the politician were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the rabbi standing there.
“So sorry, my friends, but there’s a pig in the barn, and I can’t sleep beside such an unholy animal.”
The politician said, “Okay, let it be remembered that I sacrificed my comfort for the greater good.”
The rabbi and the Hindu priest were settling in when they heard a knock on the door.
They opened it to find the pig and the cow standing there.
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Categories: Breaking News, World News
Loved the joke about pollies. The sad thing was I read it just after listening to a documentary on the Nixon-Watergate SCANDALOUS COVER-UP.
Those men who hated JFK and Nixon (and essentially the same lot (fm’s) who hate Trump) came to mind when I read it. (BTW I’m disappointed in Trump at the mo as many are but I DO NOT HATE him as so many DOOO!!!! Nixon said in his resignation speech “You can’t let your haters win. And they only win if you hate them back.” So true!!!!
LOL!!!!!
: D